Wednesday, January 02, 2008
this time of year always gets to me. that's why i like to take vacations in December. it breaks up the doldrums. not so much this year. february can't come soon enough.
i don't think it's the lack of light this time of year, or the weather, because i mostly love the cold. i think it's more the shedding of the old skin for a new one. the molting process is complicated. it's not without it's look back over the shoulder at the past seconds, minutes, hours, days... but really this year has not been a bad one for me. it's like Bob Harris said in Lost in Translation, "The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you." It's really true. I think back just a few years ago when I couldn't see that my actions, what I thought I thought I wanted, or what I thought I should do was based on whether or not people liked me. Ha, so foolish.
I don't really care what people think anymore, and I don't mean that in a negative way. It's actually very freeing. I'm happy. I like who I like, dislike who I dislike, and you have to take me for who I am. If you don't, no problem. Someone else will.
so i wrote the above before the bulk of New Year's proper. and yeah, that pretty much sums it up. i like that i take every situation as a learning experience now. there's layers to us all, and even if we don't completely shed the old skin, we always grow some new for the journey ahead...