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    Friday, November 12, 2004     8:21 AM

trying to think and remember all of what i wanted to say, but this pounding in my head is permeating all coherent thoughts.

frustrated that it seems my words and advice go unheeded, but when someone else says the exact same thing, somehow it gets through. what is it about human nature that we rarely listen to the people closest to us, even if they are giving the most sound advice? i feel three barrels short of logic today, really. maybe it's pointless to tell someone they're decisions are really leaving themselves short, and maybe it's not even my place but keeping silent when i see such crap is not my strong point.

i think i also wanted to talk about time, influence and inspiration - how those are or aren't interrelated, ie: is the person you've spent so much time with, been with for years, etc, a strong influence on your creatively and that entire process, or no? should they be? don't know and the jack hammer inside my head isn't really allowing for me to think about it at the moment, so i'll just pose the questions for later thought, hopefully.

not talking about the novel because there's nothing to talk about. sad.

last thought of this craptastic morning: am missing a friendship that appears to have dissolved while my eyes were shut, and am not sure what can be done about that, if anything.

actually, really last thought - i apparently put paperclips on wrong. how sad is that?


Tori Amos, Piece by Piece
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"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman