archive
mind the gap
thirty-two flavors
mental yoga
framed & dried
other great reads
willa's journal
Neil Gaiman's Journal
wilwheaton.net
LiveJournal Peeps
Big Fat Deal
sine qua non
Pure Energy Systems
Elektroschock
contact me
Custom Search
This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

    Friday, September 10, 2004     2:26 AM

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.

When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better.'It's all right' we whisper, 'I'm here, I love you.' and we lie: 'I'll never leave you.' For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad.

Sometimes I suspect that we build our traps ourselves, then we back into them, pretending amazment the while.

Charitably... I think... sometimes, perhaps , one must change or die. And, in the end,there were,perhaps limits to how much he could let himself change.

-Neil Gaiman


____

reading...
Tori Amos, Piece by Piece
listening/watching...
The Golden Girls
playing..
KOTOR II
randomness...
In the Waiting Line - Zero Seven
linkage...
My Twitter
quote...
"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman