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    Sunday, December 07, 2003     5:13 AM

all text below © Ani Difranco because sometimes i just don't have the words. sometimes i'm not sure i'll ever have the words. nothing to see here really except my own need to find voice to many conflicts and issues. it's funny how just when you think you're doing well, that you've got this balance thing down, the wind picks up and leaves you in a tailspin not knowing where the path is. and maybe the path's been consumed as well.
leaves you wishing you'd had a bigger anchor.


the answer to each moment must be yes
and the question: can you live with that?
becomes the test
so you weigh it against that aching in your chest
and that secretly relentless emptiness
************************************
all these years
have made me sick to tears
of such mysteries
why should i keep you
if you won't keep me
company?
************************************
as dolls go i am broken
and you could just let that get us off the hook
but from under the umbrella of the unspoken
i see you giving me that look

baby, you're right as rain about the benefits
but you might be wrong about the costs
and it feeds my heart that you came looking for me
but i'm thinkin i need to stay lost

so i won't say i saw you fibbing
or jump-jigging across the floor
i won't say you walked me to my car
and draped your arm on my open door
***********************************
she laid down in her party dress and never got up
needless to say she missed the party
she just got sad
then she got stuck
she was wincing like something brittle trying hard to bend
she was numb with the terror of losing her best friend
but we never see things changing
we only see them ending

and some vicious whispering voice
keeps saying you have no choice
you have no choice

cuz when i look at you i squint
you are that beautiful
and my pussy is a tractor
and this is a tractor pull
i'm haunted by my illicit, explicit dreams
and i can't really wake up
so i just drift in between
thinking the glass is half empty
and thinking it's not quite full
*************************************
yes and when you want it tidy tell me
can you still dispel me
sweep me neatly under the rug
does your conscience ever mention
the way that you treat me
or do you just fend it off with a …
*************************************
i'll be your biggest fan
i will be your fool
i'll be your exception
to whatever the rule
an i ain't the type to bitch
i ain't the type to cry
i'll sit at your red light and wait
for your shit to go by
and this vague little smile
is my all-purpose expression
the meaning of which
i will leave to your discretion
*************************************
no bliss for little miss leading
she's learning about bleeding
but what is love if not exquisite?
our only saving grace or is it?
*************************************



____

reading...
Tori Amos, Piece by Piece
listening/watching...
The Golden Girls
playing..
KOTOR II
randomness...
In the Waiting Line - Zero Seven
linkage...
My Twitter
quote...
"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman