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    Sunday, November 02, 2003     4:21 AM

how am i supposed to explain something i don't understand? i know love is not hurt, i know love is not leaving someone, love is not passing them off when you think they're being too emotional. love is unconditional. love is being there when someone hurts, when someone is depressed, when someone just needs to know they're cared for, no matter what.

should you suffer the mood swings and be caring? suffer the stress and be there, be respectful when they just yell at you? is it worth it when they won't do the same thing? when they can't give you the same respect? when they can't love you enough to hold your hand instead of running away?

i can't keep doing this. i can't keep being there when he won't. my love is unconditional but time is not. physical wounds heal, but emotional wounds take so much longer. i've been licking my wounds too long apparently, and i'm not sure i can do it any longer.



Oh look at how she listens
She says nothing of what she thinks
She just goes stumbling through her memories
Staring out on to Grey Street

She thinks, “Hey,
How did I come to this?
I dream myself a thousand times around the world,
But I can’t get out of this place”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

How she wishes it was different
She prays to God most every night
And though she swears it doesn’t listen
There’s still a hope in her it might

She says, “I pray
But they fall on deaf ears,
Am I supposed to take it on myself?
To get out of this place”

There’s loneliness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It feels like cold blue ice in her heart
When all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart

There’s a stranger speaks outside her door
Says take what you can from your dreams
Make them as real as anything
It’d take the work out of the courage

But she says, “Please
There’s a crazy man that’s creeping outside my door,
I live on the corner of Grey Street and the end of the world”

There’s an emptiness inside her
And she’d do anything to fill it in
And though it’s red blood bleeding from her now
It’s more like cold blue ice in her heart
She feels like kicking out all the windows
And setting fire to this life
She could change everything about her using colors bold and bright
But all the colors mix together - to grey
And it breaks her heart
It breaks her heart
To grey - Grey Street, Dave Matthews Band

____

reading...
Tori Amos, Piece by Piece
listening/watching...
The Golden Girls
playing..
KOTOR II
randomness...
In the Waiting Line - Zero Seven
linkage...
My Twitter
quote...
"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman