Friday, October 03, 2003
i'm listening to such diverse weird music right now (van morrison, nightmare before christmas, camelot soundtrack) because this is what i do when i'm depressed. flannel, candles and weird music. and my koala bear.
i do wish i could write more eloquently about less esoteric parts of life, and maybe i can if i try. maybe i really am not trying.
i feel very much like i am an observer to certain aspects of my life and that someone else is living them, making the decisions and allowing opportunities to pass into the ether instead of being grabbed as quickly as possible. or maybe it's just that i really don't have any control over them and if i wait they just might come back to me.
or maybe they won't. and i have to live with that possibility, and not let it close me off to other possibilities. that's the part that takes more than just being an observer.