Wednesday, September 10, 2003
it's wednesday, middle of the week, but a day, to me, that feels just like yesterday and the day before. i am sick of all my days blurring together from inactivity. inactivity breeds ennui, it breeds malaise. i want to be filling my days with interesting, challenging things, i want to be working (and also earning money). i'm sick of going on interviews where they say they'll call, it looks very promising and yet there's never a call.
i'm sick of feeling like i'm doing nothing with my life. i despise that feeling.
supposed to be going to a tim kaye show tomorrow, an irish music show friday, taste of baltimore saturday and ren faire on sunday. somehow i have to try to afford all of this while paying electric/phone/cable bills. i don't know what i'd do if i had to pay rent. actually i do, i wouldn't eat. and it's not that i don't have a savings, it's that i don't want to deplete my savings in a time where my life feels so very unsettled and unstable. it's very hard to be a stable person when your life feels so unbalanced, but i am doing my best. sometimes it just feels there's too much to deal with, especially alone.
and that is my griping for the week. no more, i promise.