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    Saturday, April 12, 2003     2:55 AM

feeling the need to sum up things again because details are way too painful in some parts.

saw Voltaire last night. he was awesome and i wish i hadn't been sick and had been able to go to the art show the night before. ah well.

nevermore was great. Voltaire was there and he recognized me which was oh so cool. talked to lotsa people, smooched with brian, was all good. got home to find my gate home and lights off that i left on. mother is a complete bitch. i could be so much more articulate about her but why waste the words? everyone thinks, or many people think, i overreact when i talk about her or i get upset because of her but i really don't. honestly to really know what i go through you'd have to be in my situation and if you aren't, i beg of you, please do not pass judgement on how i react. thanks.

i hate feeling so violated and i don't know what to do to make it better. i'm not sure there's much i can do to make it better. and what makes it worse is that i annoyed brian with my upsetedness. i really didn't want to do that.



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"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
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