Tuesday, January 07, 2003
so lately i think all i've written here has given the impression that i'm either in a massive funk or i'm just terminally sad. neither is really true, it's just more that i'm an intense person, and i'm sensitive. put those together at the times when i most feel like writing and then add in that shite keeps happening around those times and that's why i write what i write.
i really am ok though, for the most part.
this time of year is always weird for me, trying to work as much as possible, and also i tend to meet lots of new people in january and february. i don't know what it is about these months and it's a bit worrying because the past two people i've been involved with in a somewhat serious way, i met around this time. makes me wary now and puts my guard up when i meet someone who i seem to click with - i don't want to let any relationship, good friendship or otherwise pass me by, but i also do not want to have my feelings thrown in my face again. i don't trust people easily but now it's even less so, even when i think i can i probably won't at first because it's just not worth it.
hope that doesn't make me sound cynical or jaded, because i'm not. i really do believe that people can be trusted and wonderful relationships can be formed but i'm not going to jump into anything at the expense of my emotions.