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    Tuesday, January 07, 2003     11:18 PM

so lately i think all i've written here has given the impression that i'm either in a massive funk or i'm just terminally sad. neither is really true, it's just more that i'm an intense person, and i'm sensitive. put those together at the times when i most feel like writing and then add in that shite keeps happening around those times and that's why i write what i write.

i really am ok though, for the most part.

this time of year is always weird for me, trying to work as much as possible, and also i tend to meet lots of new people in january and february. i don't know what it is about these months and it's a bit worrying because the past two people i've been involved with in a somewhat serious way, i met around this time. makes me wary now and puts my guard up when i meet someone who i seem to click with - i don't want to let any relationship, good friendship or otherwise pass me by, but i also do not want to have my feelings thrown in my face again. i don't trust people easily but now it's even less so, even when i think i can i probably won't at first because it's just not worth it.

hope that doesn't make me sound cynical or jaded, because i'm not. i really do believe that people can be trusted and wonderful relationships can be formed but i'm not going to jump into anything at the expense of my emotions.


Tori Amos, Piece by Piece
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"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman