Friday, December 06, 2002
i've been going to other people's words lately to express how i'm feeling... and for several reasons, some technical, some personal, there needed to be silence on here.
i'm still not even sure i feel comfortable writing right now. my words lately have felt awkward, stiff, disjointed and not entirely of my voice.
i don't know.
still having disquieting dreams too frequently for comfort. i guess it's a combination of feeling the situation will be perpetually unresolved and a desire for what once was that will never be again. i live out what i'd like the reality to be in my dreams which makes it all the more disturbing.
suppose i could go into all the little, temporal things going on related to the holidays, not having enough money, my parents going on vacation... but none of that is interesting to me at the moment and writing about it seems a waste of time.
maybe hearing these guys sunday will jump start me a bit.