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    Wednesday, October 30, 2002     7:27 PM

there have been many times lately that i wish i could be a bit more like kele-de, that i could maintain this distance even from those i cared about most so i wouldn't be so affected by things that are said and done. i'm not like that though and i just read something somewhere that i know was directed at me. no one would know that except for me, but i'm smart, comments add up. and it really isn't fair, not that life ever is, because i haven't had that chance to talk about things, to clear the air. the misunderstandings gone unchecked have led to bitterness, things have become bigger than they were, out of proportion and out of context. short of forcing a confrontation there isn't much i can do and it's not so easy to just be ok with it. i guess all i can do right now is remember that "on days like this you know who your friends are." people believe and trust other people for lots of reasons and i think a lot of that has to do with having a sense of who the person is, that they can be trusted. i have a strong sense of that from my friends, that they trust me because they know i can be trusted. that's hugely important, i've realized.

and i just want to personally thank kele-de and rosa for being such awesome friends lately. you guys rock.


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"It is time for me to walk the abyss. Time to reclaim my own. I must talk to the Morningstar. I do not have high hopes for the meeting."
-Dream, Sandman