Thursday, May 09, 2002
reading chel's journal from yesterday and her comment about being a pro at self medicating which i can very much relate to - i have to do the same when it comes to infections, but lately it's beginning to worry me. in the course of my life i've taken the gamut of antibiotics, you name it and i've probably taken it. my body consequently has built up resistance for most of what i've taken so new infections become harder and harder to fight.
the reality of this scares me since i'm so young. i don't want to end up in the hospital with IV antibiotics for all future infections.
i hate that there's very little i can do to prevent getting certain types of infections like UTIs - they just happen regardless of how well i take care of myself. and really the only reason i don't worry about foot infections so much anymore is that i've stopped walking miles a day. i miss that because it was cathartic in a number of ways, but i'm afraid to start up again. those hospital stays were some of the worst, i don't want to go through it again.
sometimes the only reaction to all of this is anger, anger over the limitations i have to place on myself because it's the only way i can control my health.