Friday, December 14, 2001
So I've had this inner debate with myself lately because there are things I want to write about but didn't want to offend anyone. And I've decided, oh well, if I offend, I offend, I'm going to tell my truth and express my opinions.
With that said, I just started reading a superb book Cunt and I suggest everyone, especially females but males too, should read it. Even in the first 30 pages I'm astounded.
Wednesday night I spent hanging out with Brian's acting class which was mostly fun even though I wasn't feeling all that well. But then what probably seemed like a minor thing to the parties involved happened and after really thinking about it, I am pissed off for all women and men too. One of the guys thought a woman there was pretty so he had a drink sent over. Consequently she came over to talk to him and from what I saw they had a nice conversation and exchanged numbers. Then, outside when she had left and we were standing around talking he says he only took her number to be polite. He's never going to call her because she didn't meet his standards of beauty. Fucking ridiculous. There was absolutely nothing wrong with this chick, she was attractive (though not my type) but what really pisses me off is that he wasn't honest. He could've just said it was nice to meet you or some such thing and not taken her number. But no, polite and nice is seen as better than being honest. That's bullshit. I do not ever want nice or polite, I want the fucking truth, no matter what. If you don't like me for whatever reason, if you think I'm ugly, whatever, tell me, don't lead me to believe something that isn't true. It is just wrong.
I would much rather have someone tell me they don't want to talk to me or whatever because we don't mesh or even that I'm not attractive enough. It's been said to me before and it may sting for a bit but it's a helluva lot better than thinking someone wants to get to know you and then never ever hearing from them. It leaves you wondering and confused and it isn't right. There are enough unfair things in this world we have no control over. If you have control then please be honest.